Something Tells Me Gude Ain't Making It
It’s 1487 and women like Güde are in trouble. The Cardinal has come to her small German town on a mission to eradicate witchcraft. Güde’s best friend, the town midwife and healer, has already been burned at the stake—and now Güde is on trial. Making matters worse is the fact that her accuser is her own daughter-in-law, and Güde begins to suspect she did it simply to have one less mouth to feed in these starving times. Güde is a Christian, but like the others of her village, her centuries-old pagan traditions are just under the surface. Through her trial Güde is forced to examine her beliefs. And in the end, the people of Tierkinddorf must choose between the old ways and the ways of the Church—between life and death for Güde.
posted by BlackCapricorn @ 8:47 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Hey, Güde, don't make it bad,
Though it's 1487.
The cardinal has come and taken your friend,
Used fire to send
Her spirit to heaven.
Hey, Güde, she had a life,
The town midwife and a healer.
But somebody said that she was a witch
A crime for which
The cardinal killed her.
And now that you stand here accused
Hey, Güde, refuse.
Don't let them burn you at the stake.
Well, don't you know that it's too often Tierkinddorf
Burns somebody innocent by mistake.
Na na na na na, na na na na.
Hey, Güde! You're now on trial
The charges filed by your daughter-in-law.
Remember, your family needs to eat.
Maybe this deceit
Will give them more cole slaw.
Although this is a Christian town,
Hey, Güde, don't frown.
Pagan traditions lie under the surface.
And don't you know it's not just you,
Hey, Güde, you do,
That must navigate this moral morass.
Na na na na na, na na na na.
Yeah.
Hey, Gü-hü-hü-hü-üde, the old ways suck.
Take a duck and you're surely heavier.
So that means you're not made out of wood.
And that means you should
Not be put to the fire, fire, fire, fire,
Fire! Fire! Aaaaaaaaaah!
Na na na, na-na na na,
Na-na na na, hey, Güde.
Na na na, na-na na na,
Na-na na na, hey, Güde.
I'd like to burn my mother in law at the stake too.
This is being wasted on a feature. This should be a weekly sitcom. But the daughter-in-law will have to become a mother in law.
I'm seeing Teri Polo as the lead, living with her husband (played by Greg Proops) and her nagging witch of a mother-in-law, Gude (portrayed by Vanessa Redgrave.)
We could save some production value by filming on location in Tierkindodorf, of course, but I think we're better served building a set on the lot so that we can tape in front of a live audience. Maybe give them signs that say, "Witch" and "Not A Witch." Let them vote at the end of the show to see which guest star gets burned alive during the next week's taping.
Don't you hate it when people try to write about a period and/or location they never visited before nor have a single clue about it?
Güde? Tierkinddorf? What does this person know about German medieval towns? Come on, get a history textbook and get it right.
ps: Where's the reference to "The Davinci Code"?
The pandas tell me this query is the only hope for the future...or not.
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