In Honor Of Black History Month.

Sorry if I have posted in awhile. Here is something to make up for it.

Thomas and Cassie, two runaway slaves, are lost and alone. Their mother has disappeared and so have their hopes of finding freedom in Canada. A series of adventures and disasters await the two children as they struggle to find the Underground Railroad and their missing mother.

I Know I Want To See Some Hot Anthropoid On Anthropoid Action

My thanks to Matt for this....

"A man of our era will travel in time and will be found in the future where men and women live in separate societies"

Genre: Sci- Fiction

Nicolas Sniper, a pilot of flights in space, after suffering a great disappointment in love, will agree to lead a very dangerous experimental flight. Following problems on his spacecraft, he will uncontrollably speed up and will be lost in space.Our hero is found somewhere in Mars in the year 2142 due to the theory of relativity. There, he meets the male residents of the Federation of Mars living a very exciting life with female love partners who are anthropoids.

Soon, he sees into the fragile foundations of the happy -in appearance only- society and he will be forced to return back to earth where only females reside.In earth, he pretends to be a male anthropoid in order to find the truth and the reasons of the separation of two sexes. In spite that he is responsible for this separation between men and women without his knowing about it, he tries -in a desperate effort- to bring men and women back together.

I would like to submit this screenplay for your consideration and thank you in advance for your time.

Remind Me Not To Invite Her To Any Parties

I’d like to profess that stealing a box of Golden Life Henna in the 7th grade was the end of my illustrious shoplifting career, but if we’re getting down to the short hairs here, I also stole a tube of organic toothpaste from Whole Foods less than a year ago.

$12.95! For toothpaste! I mean, c’mon. Gift with purchase, I like to say.

Actually, I wouldn’t mine stealing something right now.

Christ, it’d be easier than writing this letter. Three years of work down to a page, page and a half. The pressure to be charming here is enormous, you must know.

Maybe this afternoon. When I finish the letter. [O]ur heroine is not that different from me. Or possibly a more fabulous me. The Carrie Bradshaw I am in my imagination.

Upper East Side Jewish American Princess kleptomaniac living the seemingly quintessential Manhattan life, loses job, loses boyfriend, loses housekeeper and winds up (long story short) joining a Peruvian Shoplifting Ring.

It is here our klepto learns what’s truly important in her life. Ahf tsores aside, it’s a happy ending kind of story.

For our 29-year old heroine, shoplifting* is better than orgasms:“… Her breath pounds out in heaves. Her teeth chatter, droplets of sweat trickle down her side sending out a rank perfume, her nipples harden. She swallows a mouthful of saliva, the gulp of it echoing in her head. A quick slide off with a nimble hand and poof…it is gone.”

Please send the enclosed postcard if you’d like to see a sample of The Booster.

This Must Be How Maddox Feels About Brangelina

Anhati is a 14 year-old girl who has grown up in a prison. She is considered to be the reincarnation of the Incarnate Anhati, the oldest daughter of the prophet of the country of Grandar. Grandar is ruled by a theocracy, the reincarnations of the prophet’s twelve children. In her last life, Anhati had put down a small rebellion in the satellite state of Parsa in an unnecessarily cruel fashion that involved burning a large city. Her government was forced to give her to a Parsan prison for five lifetimes. Now that Anhati is growing up, she wonders if she is the saint in the folklore, the monster who committed the atrocities she is blamed for, or a decoy sent to the prison while the real Incarnate was kept safe elsewhere. These questions don’t get any easier when Anhati is pardoned and sent back to a country and family that she has never seen before.

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and happy whatever it is you have up there in Canada (boxing day?).

No new posts this week as I am freezing my ass off at my parents house in upstate NY. Rest assured the hilarity will start up again next week.

BC

Something Tells Me Gude Ain't Making It

It’s 1487 and women like Güde are in trouble. The Cardinal has come to her small German town on a mission to eradicate witchcraft. Güde’s best friend, the town midwife and healer, has already been burned at the stake—and now Güde is on trial. Making matters worse is the fact that her accuser is her own daughter-in-law, and Güde begins to suspect she did it simply to have one less mouth to feed in these starving times. Güde is a Christian, but like the others of her village, her centuries-old pagan traditions are just under the surface. Through her trial Güde is forced to examine her beliefs. And in the end, the people of Tierkinddorf must choose between the old ways and the ways of the Church—between life and death for Güde.

My Big, Fat, Afro American Wears Prada

Dear Sir or Ma’am,

I have a wonderful, exciting new script that my partner xxxx and I recently completed. This script offers an exciting new flavor to the world of frame, fashion and the entertainment industry. Indulge yourself for a moment and enjoy reading this comedic script that revolves around two indomitable Afro American women who struggle to survive in the vicious worlds of entertainment and fashion.

The overweight, but beautiful Jazzy is a struggling, very talented, fashion designer working for a successful fashion house. She is unappreciated and taken advantage of by the very company she works for. Her dream is to have her name on her own line of clothing some day. Grace, also overweight and best friend to Jazzy, is a hairdresser by day and struggling comedian by night. She experience problems in her marriage while traveling the road to success. Grace has dreams of becoming a successful comedian and making it to Hollywood and star in an up-coming comedy.

In their struggles to make things happen, they face stereotypes, deception, ridicule, lie and deceit. All the while, they encourage and support one another to make their dreams happen. Life sends these ladies through some interesting twist and turns. They begin to overcome their obstacles one by one and defeat adversity. The possibilities of finding fame and fortune and even love become visible.

Watch Out For The Big Girls is hilarious and heartwarming at the same time and we would love to submit to you a copy of our script. We are currently seeking agent representation to help market our material. The script is copyrighted by the library of congress and registered with WGAE. We hope to hear from you soon.